Mom, Grandma Evie, Evelyn Marie (Kast) Christensen passed away peacefully in her sleep in the morning of June 3, 2021 with me holding her in my arms. Her breathing was coming farther and farther apart, and her hospice aide told me each breath might be her last. I held her and kissed and talked to her. I tried to comfort her as best as I could. She was calm, and stopped breathing altogether very shortly. Then she was gone.
A few days later her death notice appeared in the Racine Journal Times.
I had planned most of the details of her funeral a few years earlier knowing that I would be very emotional when the time came. I chose readings and music that she had collected in a folder with our minister. Carl and I worked together to finalize her Obituary.
Obituary
Evelyn
Marie Christensen (nee: Kast), age 93, passed away peacefully, at home,
on Thursday, June 3, 2021. Evie, as she was known to most, was born in
Des Moines, Iowa on November 12, 1927 to Donald and Doris (nee:
Giebrich) Kast. During World War II, she attended five high schools on
the West Coast. After graduating from Seaside High School in 1945, she
returned to Des Moines for college, and graduated from Drake
University. She worked as a Medical Technologist until 1955 when she
married, moved to Winona, Minnesota, and began raising her family. Evie
volunteered as a Girl Scout leader, YWCA Teens leader, Sunday School
teacher, and was active in the League of Women Voters. She also pursued
her art during those years.
Following her marriage, Evie moved
to Plymouth, Minnesota and continued her work as a medical
technologist. Evie was smart and strong. In her fifties she was
admitted to the University of Iowa's highly selective Physician
Assistant program, where she completed her studies in 1983, earning her
second college degree. She was regarded as an exemplary student and was
particularly passionate about patient education.
She moved to
Racine in 1985 and built her dream home. She worked as a P.A. until
retirement at age 72 in 1999. She loved her work.
Evie was an
accomplished artist, cook, baker, seamstress, quilter, and gardener.
She also enjoyed knitting and crocheting. She was politically active,
and never missed an opportunity to vote. She traveled extensively
throughout the United States.
After retirement she volunteered
at the Racine Literacy Council and the Harmony Club. She was an active
member of Olympia Brown Unitarian-Universalist Church. She also
developed her hobbies of writing stories, quilting, organizing her photo
albums, and exploring the family genealogy. Evie had many friends and
was a member of several groups: the American Association of University
Women, Scrabble, Stitchery, Lighthouse Quilters Guild, Starlets
Quilters, several small ministry groups of Olympia Brown Church, along
with breakfast and lunch groups of friends and work colleagues.
Above
all, Evie treasured her family, and she loved being surrounded by the
many generations. She was preceded in death by her parents and her
sister Geri. Evie, a devoted mother and grandmother, is survived by the
family she treasured: her children, Kim (Louis) Gloede of Racine, and
Carl (Pandora) Christensen-Charpentier of St. Paul, Minnesota;
grandchildren, Jessica (Paul) Berg of Saratoga Springs, Utah, Jolene
Kent of Fort Collins, Colorado, and Brody Christensen of Rochester,
Minnesota; great-grandchildren, Bradley and Alexandra Madsen, and Matix,
Hawken, Lullaby, and Solace Berg; her brother-in-law Merlin Humpal of
Des Moines, Iowa; many nieces, nephews and other relatives; and many
very special friends too numerous to mention.
A memorial service
will be held at the funeral home, Friday, August 6, 2021, 11am.
Relatives and friends may meet prior to the service 10am until 11am.
Private interment will be held at Country Haven Cemetery. Due to recent
CDC recommendations, the family is requiring face masks for both
vaccinated and unvaccinated people. (Masks will be provided if you need
one.) Thank you for your understanding.
The family would like
to extend a special thank you to Evie’s devoted friend and caregiver of 2
years, Alma Rincón, her dear Doctors, Paul Durbin and Karen Murillo,
and also to the staff at Badger Hospice, for their outstanding care and
professionalism.
In lieu of flowers, the family suggests memorial
donations to the American Association of University Women, Racine
Branch (Racine AAUW), Olympia Brown Unitarian-Universalist Church
Endowment Fund, or Unitarian Church North in Mequon.
Maresh-Meredith & Acklam Funeral Home and Crematory
803 Main St., Racine, WI 53403
(262) 634-7888.
To see her Obituary in the Racine Journal Times, click here.
To see her Obituary on the funeral home website, click here.
Carl
and the children and I worked together to plan a lovely service to help
us honor her, and to let her go. We wanted everyone to be able to be
there, so we chose August 6th as the date. Tony presided. We had the
Visitation at 10:00am, Service at 11:00, Luncheon at 12:00, and
Graveside ceremony at 3:00pm.
Click here to see close-ups of the items in the above 2 displays.
Her slide show played during the visitation, and was set to Carl's choice of music, Paganini's Violin Concerto #1, one he and Mom used to love to listen to. To see those wonderful pictures and hear the background music, click here.
The guest book:
We created a special Memorial Card, but then decided not to use it. But I am including it here because it was so lovely. This is a poem Carl loves and we tried to come up with a way to include it, but in the end, Carl wanted to keep it private between himself and Mom. This would have been the front and back:
Her Service began at 11:00am. This was her Order of Service.
This was the music Insert.
This was the back of the program.
Jolie read the words for the Chalice Lighting:
Lighting the Chalice is a traditional Unitarian ceremony that our family has participated in every time we go to church. Grandma loved this beautiful sentiment, and Mom found it and the other readings she chose with Tony years ago. So I will read it as we light the chalice for her service. Mother Theresa wrote this as guidance to parents and grandparents:
"You will teach them to fly, but they will not fly your flight.
You will teach them to dream, but they will not dream your dream.
You will teach them to live, but they will not live your life.
Nevertheless, in every flight, in every dream, and in every life, the print of the way you taught them will remain."
Grandma believed this. She gave us roots, but also wings.
Eulogy, read by Tony
Evie Christensen, our friend, our Mom, our Grandma, was a very practical and organized person. She liked things that were both useful and pretty, but they didn’t have to be FANCY. She was frugal, but at the same time very generous, and loved donating to every cause she discovered.
Evie belonged to the Olympia Brown Unitarian-Universalist Church in her adulthood, and it was a perfect fit for her personality. She even drew from its principles long before she joined and learned the connection. Some examples of this were in several old sayings which she stressed to all of the members of her family.
The first one was, “Put other people’s feelings ahead of your own.” Of course this is the essence of the Golden Rule. Imagine her delight when she learned that this is present in every major religion in the world.
An old Depression-era saying she said many times was “Use it up; Wear it out; Make it do; Do without.” This one was about being frugal, but it really also is - - Reduce-Reuse-Recycle!
Here’s another example. Evie often said, when presented with cleaning and organizational issues, ...”If in doubt, throw it out!” This speaks to having a simplified life, uncluttered by too many material possessions.
More importantly she always said, “You get what you dish out.” If you are cheerful, people will be cheerful back to you. But if you are grumpy, people will be grumpy in return. And of course this one is the concept of Karma, or the metaphysical Law of Attraction.
There are many more - - Evie was fond of sayings. But her magnetism came from the fact that she lived them. The warmth and attraction we all felt toward her came from her goal: to live an active, compassionate, and charitable life.
Evie was born in Des Moines, Iowa in 1927, and grew up there until High School. During World War II her Dad was stationed on the West Coast, so she ended up changing schools five times. She went back to Des Moines for college and graduated from Drake University there. She was a Medical Technologist in her young adulthood in Saint Paul, and later got married and raised kids as a stay-at-home Mom in for 20 years. She was very smart, strong, and self- determined, and changed careers in her fifties. She went back to school, this time at the University of Iowa, and became a Physician Assistant. This allowed her to build her dream- house here in Racine, a home she loved and was very proud of, and where she lived until about a year ago.
Evie loved her job as a P.A. with All Saints, and worked until she was 72, when she finally retired. Over the years she was responsible for saving the lives of three of her patients, due to finding cancers during routine exams.
She was a talented artist, writer, seamstress, and quilter. She entered her work in several juried shows. She was also an accomplished gardener. She even had a small orchard. She canned and froze the produce she grew, and shared it generously. She was also a great cook and baker. She enjoyed knitting and crocheting. She took lots of trips all over the United States with her family, friends and colleagues during her career years.
She was politically active, and never missed a chance to vote, something instilled in her by her mother, and she passed on its importance to her children and grandchildren.
She had many dear friends, several of whom she had her entire life, and kept in touch with. Many of these friends are right here in this room.
After retirement, Evie volunteered at the Racine Literacy Council and the Harmony Club. She developed her hobbies of writing stories, quilting, and organizing her photo albums. She explored the family genealogy. These hobbies overlapped quite a bit, as she wrote about ancestors and created photo albums to go with them.
But most important of all to her, was her family. She was a devoted mom, grandma, and great- grandma. She loved being surrounded by the many generations. She vacationed with her family, babysat for them, and even drove Kim's carpool for a few years! She spent almost every birthday with her grandson Brody, because he was born on her birthday. She took them to family reunions, went tent-camping with them when the grandchildren were little, and later in cabins, and more recently she went along on annual waterpark trips with her great-grandkids.
Evie will be remembered with love and gratitude by her daughter Kim, her son Carl, son-in-law Louie, daughter-in-law Pandora, three grandchildren, six great-grandchildren, countless friends, and others she touched with her optimism, compassion and generosity.
Thanks Evie, for all your help, care, and friendship throughout all of our lives, and for your unconditional love. We will all miss you, and we will forever carry you in our hearts.
Readings
Jessie gave several readings. The first author was unknown:
Blessed are they who rear their families in honor and in gentleness,
who live courageous and upright lives,
who live life in its fullness, do their part,
and then at eventide retire to rest.
Though pain be in the heart, let none grieve,
for here a gentle soul has cast its glow upon us,
and like the glory of an autumn sun,
has lit the world with kindness through its day,
and at the close has gently sunk to rest,
Rather rejoice for that which she has given,
the light we know and treasure still within our hearts,
a light we trust still shines beyond the distant peaks (this world’s horizon)
for light goes on, and spirit knows no death.
Jessie chose two readings from Grandma's own writings, which describe Grandma well.
My Thoughts on Boredom
I talked with my sister-in-law Merlys a few years ago. She was 86 years old and in Assisted Living. She said her meals were provided, someone did her laundry, someone cleaned her apartment or room, and she had nothing to do.
I have never known a moment of boredom. Not as a child growing up, not as a medical technologist, not as a full-time mother and homemaker, not as a physician assistant, and now, not as a retired homemaker (yes, I am "making a home" for myself.) I have never had a moment when I couldn't think of something I want to do!
Children Sleeping
On my way to bed at night I always stopped in each bedroom to gaze at my precious children sleeping. When they got older they stayed up later than I did so I stopped in the morning to watch them, listening to their soft breathing, smelling the sweet smell of children sleeping. Oh I am so lucky!
And the last one, by Helen Lowrie Marshall
Afterglow
I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun;
Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.
Jolie read the words to accompany the Extinguishing of the Chalice Flame:
Let us remember gratefully the courage and faith and love which Grandma manifested to the end. Neither infirmity nor age availed to break her spirit. Her pride was in the family she raised and in the spirit she instilled in us. She taught us all that in the midst of trouble and pain, one can yet smile, that the abundant life is not of possession of things, but of the full heart, the cheerful fulfillment of duty, the maintenance of faith and love and self-forgetting service, the spirit we may share with our fellow human beings. Love can never be defeated; she whose life is lived in love, knows a joy that defies pain, and triumphs over death.
We had a small lunch afterward at Preservation Hall, and at 3:00pm our Graveside Ceremony.
Tony: Introduction
Jessie: Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep
Tony: Everyone gave a word or phrase that exemplified Evie
Sermonette
Kim: Mom's Prayer
Tony: Water Ceremony
Benediction
Poem (Jessie)
(Brody was unable to attend, but if he had, this would have been his reading.)
by Mary Elizabeth Frye:
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the field of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the grateful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight.
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom.
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing.
I am in each lovely thing.
So do not stand by my grave and cry.
I am not there. I did not die.
Prayer
This prayer was in Mom's writings. She modified it from an old favorite prayer from when she was in the Unity Church. I explained this background, and I read it and distributed a copy for each child, grandchild, and great-grandchild.
Her bouquet with the urn wreath in front.
Here are some candid pictures from the day, along with more from the children's entire visit. Click here.
Rest now, Mommy. I love you, and I will hold you in my heart forever.
