Mom Passed away

 Mom passed away June 3, 2021 at the age of 93.  She was bedridden for just a few days before she was gone.  Carl and Pandora had visited and sat with her, and had just gone back home the night before.  She died very peacefully in her sleep.  For three days I had gone in every hour throughout the nights to help her with her extra secretions and her medications.  I came in in the morning to wake her up and help Becky the hospice caregiver with dressing and changing Mom.  Her breathing was very slow and the breaths were far apart.  I held her, kissed her, and talked to her.  I told her I love her, and that I knew she was getting really tired.  I tried to say comforting things.  Her breaths were farther and farther apart until finally she stopped altogether.  We cried, and I called Carl and the girls.  It was so so sad, but at the same time I felt relief for her that at last she was out of her discomfort.  

The nurse came and declared the time of death.  Later Duke and Charlie came from the funeral home.  I got a big hug from Charlie, who had been my student. 

Within days after Mom passed away and the death notice appeared in the paper, we received so many cards, calls, and emails from people expressing their condolences.  Alma, Mom's caregiver of two years was the first to arrive with a hug, a lovely card, and a dozen yellow roses, Mom's favorite flowers.

Jessie and her family sent this yellow rose bush, which is flourishing in our garden.  Update:  here it is 2 years later in full bloom.  It's still a baby, as is my grief, but it's very beautiful and smells so good!

The next day Louie's cousins sent this AMAZING fruit basket and card.

 

This card is such a sweet memory from Mary Tompsett.  Many of the messages brought tears, like this one.

The sentiment on this one from Louie's nieces was especially sweet too.  They enclosed a special photo from the last Christmas Mom was in our house, 2019.

 

The rest of the cards, emails, and Facebook messages are here.  Many of them were handmade works of art.

Here are the thank-you notes we sent.  So pretty.

This is her obituary and composite photo. 

Here's the newspaper obituary from the Racine Journal Times. And click here to go to the funeral home website to see it.

 

We love you so, and we always will. I treasure the time I was able to take care of you, and I remember fondly all the memories of "before."  You taught me so much, you stood by me and always loved me unconditionally through thick and thin. I am forever grateful.

Mom's Hands

These are my mom's hands, held by my daughter Jessie's hands.  Mom's hands are old and veined. The skin is thin and bruised. These hands worked hard. They held, cared for, and supported our family.  They held two children, three grandchildren, and lots of great-grands.  They held her patients.  They nourished, loved, worked, and cared.  I love these hands.  She held my hands in hers throughout my childhood.  Then I held these hands through her last year, and one day Jessie and Jolie will hold mine.

Mom's Old Age

 Mom lived at St. Monica's from October 2020 through January 2021, and then came to live with Louie and me.  Her dementia progressed, but she still enjoyed her usual things. Her version of Rummikub:

And Scrabble,

Puzzles,

 

Art,

 

And helping with chores:

Several weeks later, on May 30th, Mom and I were waiting for her hospital bed to arrive, and she was pretty anxious and agitated, but she had a lucid 10 minutes, so I sat with her and we held hands.  We talked about how lucky we were to be able to live together, and how lucky I felt to be able to take care of her.  I told her she had been such a good mother to me, and she said I had been good too, but I don't think she could think of the word, 'daughter.'  She thinks of me as her mom now.  We reminisced about all the trips we had taken together, camping with the girls, and later going to the water parks with the grandchildren.  We remembered playing Scrabble and Upwords every Saturday, and all our holiday meals together.  She remembered baking Christmas cookies together and making pickle relish.  I told her she has been the best Mom, and reminded her that when I was a kid, all my friends wanted to hang out at our house, because she was so nice.  I brought up to her that she had lately mentioned the topic of death several times, and told her that although I will miss her horribly,  I completely understand her not wanting to live like this, with so much sickness and disability.  I asked her if she felt ready to go to heaven and be with her mom and dad again, and she said she is ready and wants to go.  She mentioned being with her favorite cousins too, Jean, Irma, and 'Lloydie.' I told her that I will be terribly sad when she passes away, but that we are grownups now, and we will be okay.  I reminded her that I have had a good career, and I am all set financially, and that the kids are grown up and self-supporting too.  I reminded her that I have a wonderful husband to take care of me, and so she doesn't have to worry about me any more.  She told me she will love us forever, and that she will watch over us.  I said I will love her forever, and she will live on in my heart forever.  I wanted her to feel some relief from worry, at least about me.  That relief from anxiety is so elusive for her.  I hope she finds peace soon.

My mom went in and out of knowing my name, but she always seemed to know that I was her trusted person, that I loved her, cared for her, and was always there. My darling husband, who would always come and help me pick her up if she fell, (her son-in-law), was actually the last person whose name she never forgot. He was her big strong prince, her sweet Louie.  He had planted gladiolas in view of her window so that she would have something pretty to look at outside her window.

He is my prince too, and I soon realized he had planted this whole field of sunflowers outside OUR window too, with a row of contrasting red okra, so beautiful.  He wanted me to have something pretty to look at too.

Foot Surgery

 I had a little foot surgery yesterday and received this e-card from my friend Sandy Stuller. She is in my Art Group, and this card contains a little video with everything!  It has painting and paper-folding art, and springtime!  Click here to see it.  Thanks Sandy!

Here are my before-and-after pictures.

Mother's Day

 I had a very special Mother's Day this year.  Louie treated me to steak dinner the night before. Then I had several phone calls with both my girls, texting with Alexandra, Face Timing with Jessie's crew, cards, and THIS! An edible arrangement delivered on Sunday for Grandma Evie and me. 

We both enjoyed it (especially the chocolate-covered strawberries!)

Jessie's kids:

Wisconsin ADK State Conference

 I was a presenter at the Wisconsin ADK State Conference! It was held via Zoom.  There were almost 100 in attendance.

My session was an introduction to how to create a chapter website.  Who would have thought we were the only chapter (TAU) in the whole state to have our own website, which I created with Jessie's tutelage, of course! Here's a link to my presentation, which they recorded in two clips, for some reason:  Part 1 and Part 2.

Here also is a link to our cute little website. Alpha Delta Kappa (ADK) is a charitable sorority of teachers, and I am a member of the Racine Tau Chapter.  https://adktau.blogspot.com/

I received this lovely thank-you gift and note from the conference organizer Carol.

My Tau Chapter co-presidents sent this thank-you card.

And another member sent this one.

 

Carl and Pandora Visit Mom

 Carl and Pandora came and had a very nice visit with Mom. It was during the pandemic, so we had to wear masks until they are fully vaccinated.

Jessie and Jolie Visit

 We had another visit with all the kids! It was hard to get everybody comfortable and smiling all at the same time.

 We tried every configuration.

 

 

 

I need the one with 4 generations on Jessie's side.

 

Everyone played and visited.  Although we were so sad that Chuck had passed away, it was still good to be together.