Mom lived at St. Monica's from October 2020 through January 2021, and then came to live with Louie and me. Her dementia progressed, but she still enjoyed her usual things. Her version of Rummikub:
And Scrabble,
Puzzles,
Art,
And helping with chores:
Several weeks later, on May 30th, Mom and I were waiting for her hospital bed to arrive, and she was pretty anxious and agitated, but she had a lucid 10 minutes, so I sat with her and we held hands. We talked about how lucky we were to be able to live together, and how lucky I felt to be able to take care of her. I told her she had been such a good mother to me, and she said I had been good too, but I don't think she could think of the word, 'daughter.' She thinks of me as her mom now. We reminisced about all the trips we had taken together, camping with the girls, and later going to the water parks with the grandchildren. We remembered playing Scrabble and Upwords every Saturday, and all our holiday meals together. She remembered baking Christmas cookies together and making pickle relish. I told her she has been the best Mom, and reminded her that when I was a kid, all my friends wanted to hang out at our house, because she was so nice. I brought up to her that she had lately mentioned the topic of death several times, and told her that although I will miss her horribly, I completely understand her not wanting to live like this, with so much sickness and disability. I asked her if she felt ready to go to heaven and be with her mom and dad again, and she said she is ready and wants to go. She mentioned being with her favorite cousins too, Jean, Irma, and 'Lloydie.' I told her that I will be terribly sad when she passes away, but that we are grownups now, and we will be okay. I reminded her that I have had a good career, and I am all set financially, and that the kids are grown up and self-supporting too. I reminded her that I have a wonderful husband to take care of me, and so she doesn't have to worry about me any more. She told me she will love us forever, and that she will watch over us. I said I will love her forever, and she will live on in my heart forever. I wanted her to feel some relief from worry, at least about me. That relief from anxiety is so elusive for her. I hope she finds peace soon.
My mom went in and out of knowing my name, but she always seemed to know that I was her trusted person, that I loved her, cared for her, and was always there. My darling husband, who would always come and help me pick her up if she fell, (her son-in-law), was actually the last person whose name she never forgot. He was her big strong prince, her sweet Louie. He had planted gladiolas in view of her window so that she would have something pretty to look at outside her window.
He is my prince too, and I soon realized he had planted this whole field of sunflowers outside OUR window too, with a row of contrasting red okra, so beautiful. He wanted me to have something pretty to look at too.
